Touchstones.

Learning to exhale.

Touchstones. This is the word I have been looking for the last several weeks to describe what I need at this point in my life for some balance, sanity, connection, and just to sacredly live this human existence.

Touchstones, technically, are defined per Merriam-Webster as, “a fundamental or quintessential part or feature.” I would like to expand on that definition as they relate to our soul’s needs.

For me lately, I have been feeling a need for something and haven’t been able to put my finger on it until today. Life has been good. There is nothing revolutionary happening, work is steady, the kids are cool…all the things (knock on wood). Yet, I have felt a bit like I am swaying in the wind. Untethered a smidge.

I feel a softness. A sinking into a chapter and yet deeply aware there is another assignment coming. Because, you know, the universe. However, I think it is an assignment in grace, compassion, vulnerability, allowing, and self surrender. It is a noticing chapter. A learning to receive chapter. A learning to ask for things chapter. A deeper chapter.

I realized today on the phone with a soul friend that it was just that, I need connection with my soul people. I need nature. I need to move. I need the holy things that keep me steady. I realize that in the busyness of life, I perhaps do not have access to these touchstones in a way that is replenishing myself in order to keep up with all that is asking for my time and energy. Again, for most of us, we are giving far more than we are taking in to refuel. Sometimes we are doing this so unconsciously it is easy to go unnoticed. It is likely why I didn’t quite have words to describe it until now.

So, touchstones. I think if I were to add to the definition of this it would mean: a fundamental or quintessential part or feature that keeps us whole. Touchstones are people, places, and things that keep us deeply nourished on a soul level. They are the things that ground us, make us deeply visible, seen, held, and loved.

For me, connection is so critical on a foundational level. Yet, there are layers to connection, right? I can see people all day, and I do. AND, I have not seen my people, the people who see me. Understandably, people are busy and in the fullness of their lives so I cannot expect to see them regularly. However, my people are my touchstones. Even just a short call today with a soul touchstone made all the difference. Because we can walk through an entire day, weeks, years, without truly being seen. I am so lucky that I have people in my life that I can call to witness me and hold me in that. I have to remember to be seen and witnessed, otherwise I am giving and holding daily, without replenishment. If you are nodding, perhaps you do the same.

Nature. Ah, the essence of a touchstone. I just took a long walk around town. No music or podcast in my ear, just the sounds of the trees, birds, and the movement of the city at this hour. The pond was so still. The sun still warm. My body, grateful to be moving. I started at a fast clip, as if exhausting out the excess energy of the day. After breathing for a bit at the pond I noticed that I slowed down. My heartbeat began matching the stillness and rhythm of the water. Calm. I’m just now learning how to exhale.

I must remember to incorporate touchstones daily. I’m really good at the solitary touchstones, the ones that need work are the external ones. The ones that require vulnerability and asking. The ones that require me to be truthful with myself and others about what I need. The ones that require grace. They are the ones I need the most.

I’m offering this reflection as a reminder that we all need them. We may not even know what our touchstones are, that is how fast we have all been conditioned to go. They can be simple and yet serve as deep reminders of who we actually are. Like writing now to you from my porch while the sun sets. Reaching out to friends to make plans to connect. Drinking some cold water after my glorious walk. Breathing, deeply breathing.

More to come on this… let’s explore touchstones together. Thank you sub stackers for being one of my touchstones.

All the love,

ah